The Crackfic
by AriMax98
Summary: Crackfic, self-inserts because that's how I roll/ed/. Old, unedited.


Me: Ok, another random story, LOL. Enjoy!

Ash: CSgirl98 does not own pokemon. Or Bea or Han or any songs.

Lunch!

"Yo Ash!" Drew called, entering the house. He was checking on Ash just to be sure anything in the kitchen doesn't blow up. May was with Max somewhere, Misty was resting because of her cold, Brock was looking for a girl…or simply getting sent to the hospital, Dawn was in a karaoke contest, and Paul…was either cutting or being emo…again. Then, they would meet up at Ash's house for lunch.

"ASH!!!" Drew shouted. He heard a sizzle from the kitchen and checked it out…it was Ash making…soup? Anyway, the soup was white-ish and smelled like crap. It was in a pot and, was Ash cutting cucumbers???

"Hey Drew!" Ash said. He was wearing an apron with an 'I'm with stupid' arrow pointing to the right. Drew swiftly went to Ash's left, avoiding the stupid arrow which was pointing to the right.

"Ash, what the hell are you making?" Drew asked as he watched Ash put the cucumbers into the 'soup'.

"I'm making soup! Here, have a smell!" Ash said, as he offered Drew a spoon.

"Uh…thanks." Drew said as he got the awfully large spoon. 'Holy mother of cheese! This smells worse than Ash and Paul's socks mixed together! And it looks and also smells like shit…' Drew thought. When Ash got his back turned, Drew quickly poured it into a flower pot. Oddly, the flower, a daisy, wilted and even turned into ashes. Drew's eyes widened at the sight.

"Ash, are you sure that's edible?" Drew asked as Ash added an unpeeled onion.

"I'm so sure, that I can win the Grand Festival!" Drew smirked at that point.

"Oh really? With that soup of yours, I'd bet you'd win 1st place at a cooking contest." Drew said sarcastically. Ash however, did not catch the sarcasm.

"Oh thanks Drew!" Ash said as he hugged him and left. Drew, was left in the kitchen with a disgusted look on his face.

"Did he? Crap!" Drew swore as he saw a stain on his black shirt.

XD XD XD XD XD

Then, at 11 am, they all came. Dawn was showing of her medal, May and Max were arguing, Paul was looking at Dawn's erm…clothes, Misty was coughing into her hankie, Brock was rubbing his sore head which had 12 bumps on them, and Ari her friends Bea and Han came. (DriftDriftGal and Rozel Pytha!)

Drew was at the kitchen with a white t-shirt this time and mumbling something about killing Ash when he saw him again. He sat down next to May and heard some things like this:

"Did you hear? Solidad got pregnant!"

"What? Hell!"

-----

"…and then he said so, and I said what, then he said…"

"Hn."

-----

"Cough, cough…"

-----

"So then I hit Gary on the head with my tennis racket and he ran away."

"Holy crap!"

"That's what happens when someone calls Ari 'Ri-ri'." (I hate that nickname!)

-----

Then, Drew snapped out of his thoughts and saw Ari waving her hand at him.

"Yes, he's alive!" Bea said.

"Hey Drew, were you daydreaming about May?" Han asked with a grin.

"May huh? May…" Ari said, glancing at May as if she had won the Grand Festival.

Drew blushed lightly and said "May? No, I was just thinking…" Drew said. Ari sighed and said "Well, we'll see!" then she walked away.

"Whazzup with her?" Bea asked.

Han whispered something in Bea's ear and Bea said "NO WAY!!!"

"What?" Drew asked.

"It's a Jealousyshipping thing." Han said with a wink. (Ro-chan, don't laugh!)

"ATTENTION!!!" May shouted. They all stared at her. "Thank you. Who's up for karaoke?" she asked. Then the crowd shouted "LET ARI SING!!!"

"HELL YEAH!!!" Bea shouted.

"What??? No way!" Ari said. May smirked and gave her the mike. "You know you wanna!" May said. Ari sighed defeated, and sang.

_Drew looks at me  
I fake a smile so he won't see  
What I want and I need  
And everything that we should be_

I'll bet she's beautiful  
That girl he talks about  
And she's got everything  
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me  
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny  
I can't even see  
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love  
He's finally got it right  
I wonder if he knows  
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me  
Can he tell that I can't breathe?  
And there he goes, so perfectly  
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight  
Give him all her love  
Look in those beautiful eyes  
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone  
As I turn out the light  
I'll put his picture down  
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar  
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart  
He's the song in the car I keep singing  
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough  
And he's all that I need to fall into  
Drew looks at me  
I fake a smile so he won't see…

Ari ended the song and blushed. The whole crowd burst into applause and Ari ran of the stage.

"Charming! Now here is Bea, with Disturbia!" May said. Bea confidently took the mike and sang.

_What's wrong with me?  
Why do I feel like this?  
I'm going crazy now_

No more gas, in the rig, can't even get it started  
Nothing heard, nothing said, can't even speak about it  
On my life, on my head, don't wanna think about it  
Feels like I'm going insane, yeah

It's a thief in the night to come and grab you  
It can creep up inside you and consume you  
A disease of the mind, it can control you  
It's too close for comfort

Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder  
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under  
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered  
So if you must falter be wise

Your mind's in Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light  
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?  
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like  
Disturbia, Disturbia

Faded pictures on the wall, it's like they talking to me  
Disconnecting on calls, the phone don't even ring  
I gotta get out or figure this shit out  
It's too close for comfort, oh

It's a thief in the night to come and grab you  
It can creep up inside you and consume you  
A disease of the mind it can control you  
I feel like a monster, oh

Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder  
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under  
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered  
So if you must falter be wise

Your mind's in Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light  
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?  
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like  
Disturbia, Disturbia, Disturbia

Release me from this curse I'm in  
Trying to maintain but I'm struggling  
If you can't go-o-o  
I think I'm gonna ah, ah, ah, ah

Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder  
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under  
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered  
So if you must falter be wise

Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light  
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?  
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like  
Disturbia, Disturbia

The crowd clapped and cheered as Bea gave the mike to Drew. "You've got to be kidding me!" he said. "Get over it grass-head!" Bea said. Drew sighed and sang:

_Mmmm mmm yeah  
Do do do do do do do-do  
Ohh Yeah_

Gotta change my answering machine, now that I'm alone  
Cause right now it says that we  
Can't come to the phone  
And I know it makes no sense  
Caused you walked out the door,  
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore  
(it's ridiculous)  
It's been months  
And for some reason I just  
(can't get over us)  
And I'm stronger then this  
(enough is enough)  
No more walkin' 'round  
With my head down  
I'm so over being blue  
Cryin' over you

And I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing you were still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow  
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calendar I have  
That's marked July 15th  
Because since there's no more you  
There's no more anniversary  
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you  
And your memory  
And how every song reminds me  
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing you were still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow  
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)  
Leave me alone  
(Stupid love songs)  
Don't make me think about her smile  
Or having my first child  
Let it go  
Turning off the radio

Cause I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing she was still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow  
So why can't I turn off the radio?  
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)

Said I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing she was still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow  
So why can't I turn off the radio?  
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing she was still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow  
Why can't I turn off the radio?  
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)  
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Drew ended the song with a smile and May blushed, seeing his Emerald eyes go to her. Ari's face turned a bit red…with fury?

Then, the singing went on. Paul singing Just a Kid, Ash and Misty singing…off-key for Ash, Dawn went a little to the top with her high voice; Han sang really well that Brock was drooling and then Han slapped him. Brock sang an odd song he made which made Ash's Pikachu go inside a Pokéball, and then it was lunch! They all went to the table and waited…

And waited…

And waited…

Until Ash shouted, "I FORGOT THE SOUP!!!" and dashed in to get it. When he returned, he was carrying a pot with the white soup in it…also with some carrots, a few pieces of cabbage and the unpeeled onion.

"What the crap?" Han said when she saw the soup.

Luckily, Bea brought a Strawberry cake and some lemonade. They all ate and laughed. Then, Misty got some soup…and ate it.

They all stared at her in amazement. Then, Misty choked and spit the soup out.

"ASH, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" Misty roared.

"Eh?" Brock asked, smelling it. He wrinkled his nose and said "It smells like shit."

"And tastes like shit!" Misty said, drinking another glass of lemonade.

"Ash, what exactly are the ingredients?" Max asked.

"Um…well…you see…" Ash stuttered. Suddenly, May's scream was heard.

"MAY!" Drew said. When he went to the kitchen, May was holding a paper. "Give me that!" Ari said, snatching the paper.

**Soup Ingredients:**

**Onion**

**Carrots**

**Lettuce**

**Dawn's Orange shampoo**

**May's Perfume**

**Misty's 10-day-old tempura**

**Drew's chicken sandwich**

**Brock's pokemon food**

**Uh…my socks**

"ASH!!!" they all shouted.

"What? This is all a good lesson. Don't eat what I cook!" Ash said, backing away.

"He has a point." Ari said. Then, she saw Ash sneaking away.

"GUYS, LET'S GET HIM!!!"

----------------------

Me: -laughing- That was so random!

Drew: Yep…

Me: Review!!! –Laughs more-

Drew: Someone get her a Coke!


End file.
